How
family and friends can help
It can be very challenging for people, particularly
family and friends, when a loved one is diagnosed with depression. Because there is still a lot of stigma
attached to depression many women may not want to acknowledge they may be
suffering from this illness, particularly during pregnancy - a time when family
and friends expect them to be happy.
The
causes of ante-natal depression are hard to define, but if the pregnancy is
unplanned or unwanted then this may contribute to their symptoms. For
some pregnant women, having a previous medical history of depression,
difficulty conceiving and previous miscarriages may also affect how they may
feel during the pregnancy.
If you
feel a friend or loved one may be suffering from ante-natal depression you can:
Approach the subject sensitively and in
a supportive way
Offer to attend appointments with them (GP/Midwife) and help out
around the home, but don’t take
over. Acknowledging that they may be
suffering from depression may be exceptionally hard for some pregnant women to
accept (and a relief to others). Avoid
being secretive if possible, and if you plan to speak to their GP or Midwife,
let them know that is what you’d like to do if possible.
If you are really worried about a friend or family member, you can
ring NHS Direct on 0845 46 47 or try speaking to your GP about any concerns you
may be having.
If you
have a friend or family member who has been diagnosed with ante-natal
depression, you can help by:
Keeping comments constructive;
acknowledge that ante-natal depression exists and take time to learn about it.
Remember, they are not consciously choosing to feel this way.
Refrain from unhelpful comments such as "cheer up", "you need to
get out more" or "if that was me..."
Ask how you can help, but
don't take over. Offer practical
help (e.g. collecting children from school) or emotional support, giving
reassurance when needed but don't assume that the individual suffering from
depression can't cope - this may only reduce their self-esteem and
confidence. Allowing the "sufferer" to explain problems to
you may help them feel less isolated.
Be supportive in any
decision to seek professional help or take prescribed medication and attend appointments
if asked.
If you
have been diagnosed with ante-natal depression:
Keep talking and
create a support network. Even if a support group can't be set up with
the help of a midwife, encourage friends and family to learn about the illness
rather than ignore it. Keep your midwife
and GP up to date on how you’re feeling and ask how they can support you
further.
If you are feeling suicidal you can ring the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90 for the cost of a local call, or ring your
GP/Midwife or healthcare provider as soon as possible.
Read a personal experience of ante-natal depression in my story (.pdf file)
For a copy of my leaflet or any of the documents on this website
visit my contacts page
Read Dr Jonathan Evans' study (
Read Professor Nicky
Stanley's research and recommendations for healthcare professionals
on Ante-Natal Depression
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