How family and friends can help

It can be very challenging for people, particularly family and friends, when a loved one is diagnosed with depression.  Because there is still a lot of stigma attached to depression many women may not want to acknowledge they may be suffering from this illness, particularly during pregnancy - a time when family and friends expect them to be happy.

 

The causes of ante-natal depression are hard to define, but if the pregnancy is unplanned or unwanted then this may contribute to their symptoms.  For some pregnant women, having a previous medical history of depression, difficulty conceiving and previous miscarriages may also affect how they may feel during the pregnancy.

 

If you feel a friend or loved one may be suffering from ante-natal depression you can:

 

Approach the subject sensitively and in a supportive way

 

Offer to attend appointments with them (GP/Midwife) and help out around the home, but don’t take over.  Acknowledging that they may be suffering from depression may be exceptionally hard for some pregnant women to accept (and a relief to others).  Avoid being secretive if possible, and if you plan to speak to their GP or Midwife, let them know that is what you’d like to do if possible.

 

If you are really worried about a friend or family member, you can ring NHS Direct on 0845 46 47 or try speaking to your GP about any concerns you may be having.

 

If you have a friend or family member who has been diagnosed with ante-natal depression, you can help by:

 

Keeping comments constructive; acknowledge that ante-natal depression exists and take time to learn about it.  Remember, they are not consciously choosing to feel this way.  Refrain from unhelpful comments such as "cheer up", "you need to get out more" or "if that was me..."

 

Ask how you can help, but don't take over.  Offer practical help (e.g. collecting children from school) or emotional support, giving reassurance when needed but don't assume that the individual suffering from depression can't cope - this may only reduce their self-esteem and confidence.  Allowing the "sufferer" to explain problems to you may help them feel less isolated.

 

Be supportive in any decision to seek professional help or take prescribed medication and attend appointments if asked.

 

If you have been diagnosed with ante-natal depression:

 

Keep talking and create a support network.  Even if a support group can't be set up with the help of a midwife, encourage friends and family to learn about the illness rather than ignore it.  Keep your midwife and GP up to date on how you’re feeling and ask how they can support you further.

 

If you are feeling suicidal you can ring the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90 for the cost of a local call, or ring your GP/Midwife or healthcare provider as soon as possible.

 

Read a personal experience of ante-natal depression in my story (.pdf file)

For a copy of my leaflet or any of the documents on this website visit my contacts page

Read Dr Jonathan Evans' study (Bristol University, 2001) .pdf file

Read Professor Nicky Stanley's research and recommendations for healthcare professionals on Ante-Natal Depression

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